Ahh… that old frenemy “validation” we strive towards it and for it, we source it and seek it out, we aim to resonate balance, we meditate on it… I’m already tired!

Sometimes the act of finding self-validation itself is exhausting, we live in an age where self-awareness is becoming much more prevalent and yes it’s about time, I love renewed self-awareness naturally! But I also feel that we can be bombarded with a hundred different ways to “fulfil” ourselves… reading, yoga, mediation, positive mental attitude. I wonder if we ever take a moment to pause and just be still? Stillness can offer its own reward.

My personal views against external sources of validation and social media pressure, particularly the effects this seems to have on young people, is well known to those close to me. My intention is to share my feelings about this with you… but I will do this another time 🙂

Relying on external sources for validation weakens the structure of your internal well-being, there are so many elements of life that we cannot control and yet we find ourselves relying on uncontrollable sources, social pressure plays a huge part in conditioning our thought processes. It can lead us to believe that our value is determined by factors such as appearance, financial and professional success, material gain or the approval of other people. This can trap us in a vicious cycle of either never having or being “enough” a fixation on accumulating material goods can leave a person feeling constantly dissatisfied or spiral into financial difficulties.

The need for validation from other people is a wide spectrum, but ultimately seeking validation from another person, particularly in the circumstance of a negative, abusive or dysfunctional relationship; partner, parent, friend or even a working relationship. You are (sadly) seeking approval from someone who quite possibly has no intention of giving it to you and this can rapidly diminish your self-esteem.

It is so important to ask ourselves… Who am I at the core of my being?…What do I truly care about?…What do I feel in those rare moments of silence and listen to myself?… Therapy can offer you the space to allow yourself this kindness. I truly believe that there is a self-awareness and self-value deficit in today’s society and part of the process of therapy is that it leads us back to ourselves. Reconnecting, refocussing and that self-validation starts with you and your relationship with yourself. #beencouraged

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